Consider Yourself Warned
by Beautiful Cerberus
Summary: Vincent has an encounter with something called Axe body spray... Part two to 'He Cried Yes'. R&R please.


**Summary: This is a second part of my other story 'He Cried Yes', but you don't need to read the other one to understand this one. Think of it as a...trilogy, I guess This time, rather than using Herbal Essence shampoo, Vincent stumbles upon Axe body spray. Consider yourself warned.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plotline.**

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Vincent Valentine was feeling extra groggy this morning.

After many months of being closed up in his house, recouping from the termination of Omega, he decided to go out with his fellow comrades. In that night, he discovered that strip clubs weren't as bad as he thought. It was the first time that he had to have fun in a long time, and it felt good. He tried not to drink too much; having a hangover would really ruin the night for him. Luckily, he didn't do anything stupid. At first, that was what he went for. He wanted to go and have sex for the first time in a long while, but he didn't. He'd kept his composure. But he wasn't focused on that right now. Just seeing a whole bunch of lusty women staring at him was good enough.

Vincent Valentine suddenly reached into his pocket, pulling out a small, black metal can. Printed on it in large silver letters was 'AXE'. It was something that Cid had given to him the night before, saying it would 'draw the ladies from their graves'. He didn't understand all of the hype about the body spray, then again he had never used it. Today, he decided to use it as an experiment. Taking off the cap, he held down the button and felt the cold, harsh spray splatter all over his throat and bare chest. The smell instantly hit his nose, and it woke him up like a huge pot of coffee. He put the cap back on, and returned to getting dressed.

Vincent went outside later that morning, planning to take a walk to the Seventh Heaven. Cloud and the others would be there; it was possible that they would try to go out again tonight. He knew that he would be interrogated, asked if he had fun and if he did anything to be proud of. He didn't have anything to hide. He just began walking down the street, the usual cloud of enigma floating around him.

Crossing the main road of Kalm, he began to pass a few people. His eyes followed them, only to see that they were staring back at him, most of which were female. The look he saw in one woman's eyes made him almost frightened. Her hands had clenched together tightly, and she seemed to be...sniffing. Vincent quickly drew away, walking with haste to the other side of the road. But just as he hit the sidewalk, an elderly woman passed by him with a cane. Her old, tired eyes suddenly brightened as she passed the gunslinger, and she nearly hit a passing male pedestrian.

"Mmmm! Foxy!" she croaked, her aged voice rocky. Vincent nearly hit a lightpole trying to make sure no one heard the old woman's cry. He hustled away, wondering what all the fuss was about. It didn't take him long to realize that it was the Axe giving off this...female provoking smell.

He began walking faster, trying to evade each and every woman that he passed; it was inevitable. Every woman that he passed took notice of the body spray, stopping for one second to roughly smell the air. He even heard a young girl say to her father, "Daddy, do you SMELL that?!"

Once he reached the sanctuary of the bar, he opened the door and tried to push it closed with composure. The others were already there having drinks around the counter. He turned around, still slightly alarmed by his escapade.

Cloud turned to him. "What's wrong, Vincent?"

The gunslinger simply shook his head. "Nothing," he said, walking to the counter. He was able to sigh a sigh of relief; there were no females here.

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Later that evening, Vincent decided to pay a visit to Lucrecia's cave. Even though he had started to become social again, he hadn't completely forgotten about her. She played a huge part in his life, and she continued to. She was where he drew his boundaries just in case he was about to do something stupid. She was the voice inside his head giving him strength and advice. He couldn't let that go so easily, not even after all of the years that have passed. 

So, ritually, Vincent sat there in the dark, gazing upon her beauty. Still frozen, still untouched. He still longed to touch her in everyway, but that urge did not seem so strong now. "Lucrecia, I came to let you know that I am doing quite well...I'm finally almost able to enjoy life and all of its pleasures. It seems that I will be able to do many things I haven't done in a long time very soon. I just hope you know that I still hold and guard a special place for you in my-"

He stopped.

There was a disturbance in the air, signifying that Lucrecia was talking. He could feel the vibrations coming forth from the crystals, feel them coming from her presence. He tried his best to make out what she was saying...

The sound came again. It didn't sound like talking to Vincent at all. "Lucrecia...?" he said, trying his best to make out what she was saying. Her voice sounded once more, and Vincent could finally recognize what it was, much to his confusion.

Lucrecia was...moaning?

Suddenly, all of the crystals inside of the cave burst, shattering all over the walls. Vincent only had a second to react; he fell down on the ground, covering his face from the flying shards. His heart was beating wildly; what was going on? All of the crystals had just broke, exploding! He heard the pieces fall to the ground, and quickly uncovered his face.

_THUMP!_

Vincent's heart nearly stopped beating. Lucrecia was on top of him.

"Vincent, you smell so good!"

The gunslinger then realized that before leaving the house, he should have read the Axe body spray label: Consider yourself warned.


End file.
